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HRB Presents "The Day Before Christmas"

Finish your Carlsberg and switch over to 'nog, because we're taking a dive into the holiday spirit. Plus, a special moment with Boring James Milner!

'Twas the day before Christmas, and all through the boroughs

The supporters were stirring; their brows had all furrowed.

Scarves were raised high by the kop with a cheer

In hopes that Frank Lampard soon would come here.

The inaugural fans of New York's newest team

Saw visions of sweet free-kick goals in their dreams.

And Kreis with arms crossed, with Reyna in tow,

Shudders with angst when Pellegrini says no.

Over many weeks past, the supporters all Twittered

With nervous excitement, their souls not embittered.

When, to my surprise, what was it I'd seen?

A slick black away kit in FIFA 15!

With the draft of expansion, and signings to make,

New York City acquired the look of Salt Lake.

More rapid than ol' Raheem Sterling they came,

And Jason Kreis whistled and called them by name!

"Now T-Mac! Velazquez! Now Wingert! And Ned!

On Watson-Siriboe! And Saunders! And Jeb!

From one box to the other! From by-line to by-line!

Now, dash away! Dash away! Dash through that high line!"

And then, in a twinkling, the fans heard outside

Their beanies and membership cards both arrive!

No scandals abound, or conflicts with Adidas,

As the New Yorkers shouted, "Orlando can't beat us!"

He sat there in warmth, the head coach at home,

And pictured a path to the MLS throne.

Then, he posted on Facebook and laughed himself sick,

"Merry Kreis-mas to all, and to all a good kick!"

[A shuffling of papers is heard]

I suggest taking this time to refill your eggnog, perhaps to spike it with your preferred adult beverage to cleanse yourself of all this conspicuous MLS-themed rhyming. We really should take a break anyway.

[A lounge music interlude is heard]

Hudson River Blue wishes all of you and yours a safe and happy Kreis-mas (or Christmas, end-of-Hannukah, Festivus, Feast of Alvis, etc.) and a Boxing Day hopefully jam-packed with soccering. To set the proper tone for tomorrow and the foot-splosion to follow on the 26th, we leave you with the phenomenon that is Boring James Milner on Christmas morning, courtesy of the Etihad Empire and our friends from @BoringMilner: