Pictures That Don't Exist

Theoretically these are images of Frank Lampard doing NYCFC things ...

By Gabriel Luis Manga Jan 9, 2015, 12:42pm EST

Here at Hudson River Blue, we are fully in the thralls of #LampardGate. You might have read about it here, or here, or here. Hell, we even made you a playlist to listen to while you read our wall to wall coverage of this innuendo.

I've actually quite enjoyed this mess: it shows supreme efficiency and tactical deftness for a management group to turn a supporters group against themselves without even playing one match.

Yesterday we learned from The Guardian that:

A league statement said: "Frank Lampard is registered as a Manchester City player until the end of the 2014-15 season. The Premier League has sought and received assurances from Manchester City that there is no agreement in place between the club or City Football Group with New York City FC relating to the player."

As an artist, I applaud NYCFC's delve into existential contracts: what are "signatures?" When does a "press conference" move from physical announcement to metaphysical MOMENT? What is life?

For a player who has no agreement with NYCFC, Frank Lampard surely did spend a lot of time getting photographed here on Hudson-side. Let's take a look at some photos that may, or may not, exist.

Just a dude and some New York City youths. Def has no signed agreement of services with the team whose jersey him and everyone around him are wearing. None of these children exist either.

Meh, whatever. I've held a lot of scarves in my life, doesn't mean I've signed anything.

Simply a lad-on-the-town! It says "your" club, not "his." Learn to read, bozos.

Just because you are wearing a team's crest on your polo and watching hilarious YouTube videos of Pandas dancing on an NYCFC branded laptop DOESN'T mean you have a contract to play for them. Wake up, sheeple.