New York City vs. D.C. United Match Thread, notes, & how to watch

As a recovering Floridian, I know more than a little about hurricanes. These jokers do not eff around. There are still Jimmy Buffett fans down in Homestead still waiting for their power to come back on after Andrew smashed his way through in 1992.

In the decade previous, Charley, Frances, Jeanne, and Ivan all forced my school district to give us a few days off, as my high school was a designated special needs shelter. But here's the thing about those Hurricane Days-- when your electricity is knocked out, missing school is torturous. All you've got is dank, stale air and the constant threat of candle wax burning the piss out of your tender teenage skin.

So, then. Please, Joaquin, do not force Major League Soccer to cancel tonight's game (although that may be the only way to put United's stunning losing streak on hold).

Hell, RFK Stadium is miserable enough as it is. As Silky Johnson famously said: "It's bombed out and depleted," much like Afghanistan.

So let's soccer.

THIS IS THE WEEK THAT WAS

It's been another smashing week at Hudson River Blue! We sang the praises of some unlikely heroes, laid out precarious playoff qualification scenarios, and let Kansas City fever wash over us on consecutive nights. Here's what you ought not miss:

• The Boys in Blue stayed alive with a deserved road win against West-leading Vancouver.
  
  
• Super Saunders was nominated for MLS Save of the Week for the seven thousandth time, and Frank Lampard ("Dank Frank") earned his very first MLS Goal of the Week nom.
  
  
• Following three wins on the trot, we laid out NYCFC's still-extant path to the playoffs.
  
  
• We declared R.J. Allen and Ned Grabavoy to be -- and this is a technical term -- "not terrible." (Allen retweeted it, so he's clearly not against that particular choice of words.)

HERE IS A VIDEO OF SAUNDERS DOING SAUNDERS THINGS

INJURY REPORT

D.C. United:

OUT: Chris Korb (right ACL)

DOUBTFUL: Davy Arnaud (concussion syptoms)

New York City:

OUT: Shay Facey (knee strain)

QUESTIONABLE: Andoni Iraola (right calf strain)

HOW TO WATCH

MATCH THREAD RULES

Welcome back! We're glad you're here! Wipe your feet, mind the gap, and be sure to check out the other pages at this outstanding site. While you're here, though, we have a few rules and regulations.

• Absolutely no links to illegal streams. They're bad and they get us in trouble. Raf will be relegated to covering the Cosmos with Mike Petke. Sam will be thrown in a burlap sack and beaten with reeds. But seriously, they're illegal. So don't do it.
• We have rules against "relentless negativity." Nobody likes a Negative Nancy or Doubtful Darlington, even if the team gets off to an awful start. Don't knee-jerk and post outlandish or hurtful things just because you're frustrated.
• Along those lines, outright abuse of players or match officials is verboten. It's fine to say "wow, that's a bad call, match official," but it's NOT okay to direct copious amounts of abuse in the direction of said official over a call you did not like.
• Treat other people in the match thread the way you would want someone else to treat your grandmother. Be nice. Observe Wheaton's Law. This is a community of fans, not an un-moderated message board.

Finally, while we don't have a rule against profanity, any language that is sexist, racist, or homophobic in nature will be swiftly deleted. Most importantly, though: HAVE FUN, tip your wait staff, and remind those rascally District-of-Columbians that there's a REASON they have no vote in Congress, and that reason is RFK Stadium.