EDITOR'S NOTE: This article has been updated to include information provided by Edwin Jusino, who writes and edits for Fútbol Boricua. Si se habla la lengua, go check them out. You can also follow Edwin on Twitter @erjusinoa. Do it!
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The ritual is well-established. You cover a team, and they're playing some other team. You research the opponent and mold your write-ups around whichever themes jump out at you. Ostensibly, it's quite simple.
But trying to glean much of anything about the Puerto Rico National Team, despite the fact that they represent an official territory of the United States that's closer than the second Joy Division record, has proven to be aw-shucks-ingly difficult.
As you know, however, we're tenacious as hell over here at Hudson River Blue. We've called on all our best sleeper agents, passive doubles, and wetworkers to assemble the best available intel on the team New York City FC will face on the evening of December 11th.
FIFA MEMBER SINCE: 1960
NICKNAME: El Huracán Azul (The Blue Hurricane)
HOME GROUND: Estadio Juan Ramón Loubriel, Bayamón
HEAD COACH: Carlos Garbet Adevissian (b. 1959), a Uruguayan-Armenian who previously led Costa Rica's women's youth team, signed on in February.
ALL-TIME LEADING SCORER: Héctor "Pito" Ramos (27 goals), who is also captain. The 25 year old logged 21 games for the NASL's erstwhile Puerto Rico Islanders, and most recently played in the Saudi league with Al-Qadisiyah.
FIFA RANKING: 172nd, just ahead of Yemen and Mauritius! Unfortunately, that means they're just behind Comoros, East Timor, both Samoas, and the Cook Islands.
BEST-EVER FIFA RANKING: 97th (1994)
INTERNATIONAL RECORD: Maldito... how do I put this?
As members of CONCACAF, the Azules have yet to qualify for the World Cup finals (six attempts) or the Gold Cup (seven attempts). The side was eliminated from 2018 World Cup qualifying in the second round this summer. Their best performances include a fourth-place finish in the 1981 Caribbean Football Union Championship.
PHUN PHACT: Yeah, yeah, you already know Josh Saunders played for them (your loss, Jurgen!). How about this: Cristian Arrieta, born in Orlando, Florida, has scored five international goals in twenty-two caps for PR despite being a defender. Formerly of the Philadelphia Union and Fort Lauderdale Strikers, he currently plies his trade for Brooklyn-based F.A. Euro in the fourth-tier Premier Development League.
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