In Harold Pinter's 1964 drama The Homecoming, an expat professor (think Jason Kreis) brings his wife home to England to meet his family for the first time.
Over the course of two tense, demoralizing acts, the professor's wife (in this metaphor, probably Khiry Shelton) engages in the kind of intense, slow-burning mind games with the family (Real Salt Lake) that would force even Jose Mourinho to take notes. In the end, the wife grows, shall we say, "uncomfortably close" with these in-laws, and her husband sulks back overseas without her, not cuckolded as much as neutered.
So, here we are! Homecoming weekend for Kreis and his cadre of former Real Salt Lakers.
New York City FC -- winless in nine matches -- will hope that tonight's tilt won't end in similar shambles. Given the often-harrowing life of an expansion team, however, we can't exactly rule out the possibility of getting Pinter'd.
I mean, have you seen the kind of horrors Real Salt Lake fans can impart?
Seriously-- make sure Khiry gets back on the damn plane.
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MATCH DAY THREAD RULES
Welcome! We're glad you're here! Wipe your feet, mind the gap, and be sure to check out the other pages at this outstanding site. While you're here, though, we have a few rules and regulations.
- Absolutely no links to illegal streams. They're bad and they get us in trouble. Raf will be relegated to covering the Cosmos with Mike Petke. Sam will be thrown in a burlap sack and beaten with reeds. But seriously, they're illegal. So don't do it.
- We have rules against "relentless negativity." Nobody likes a Negative Nancy or Doubtful Darlington, even if the team gets off to an awful start. Don't knee-jerk and post outlandish or hurtful things just because you're frustrated.
- Along those lines, outright abuse of players or match officials is verboten. It's fine to say "wow, that's a bad call, match official," but it's NOT okay to direct copious amounts of abuse in the direction of said official over a call you did not like.
- Treat other people in the match thread the way you would want someone else to treat your grandmother. Be nice. Observe Wheaton's Law. This is a community of fans, not an un-moderated message board.
Finally, while we don't have a rule against profanity, any language that is sexist, racist, or homophobic in nature will be swiftly deleted. Most importantly, though: HAVE FUN, tip your wait staff, and remind those Salt Lakers that Jason BELONGS TO US NOW, GEEZ.