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LET ME BE FRANK (and Andrea!) -- Catching up with Lampard, Pirlo, & NYCFC in FIFA 15

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Playing as New York City FC in the popular video game hasn't been easy, especially if R.J. Allen is involved. But this week, two mega-stars have been officially added to the fold. Let's play!

Who's that hiding down there?
Who's that hiding down there?

Andrea Pirlo is good in real life. He is also good in fake life:

Honestly, I'm proud of myself for ripping this.

Who wants to touch me? Five bucks.

...

Indeed, just as the authentic New York City FC's outlook has changed substantially with the arrival of tireless goal-jockey Frank Lampard and long-ball condottiere Pirlo, so have their fortunes changed in the video game world. It comes down to this: NYCFC is way, way more fun to play with now.

So, let's take a look at the full lineup. For reference, we're playing the PlayStation 4 version on "Professional" difficulty, updated as of 9 July 2015:

FIFA15a

FIFA15b

I apologize for the acute squinting I just foisted upon you liberally. Let's go through this in a much less painful manner-- I want to compare the current ratings of New York City's players compared to their original rating upon the team's original addition to the game back in March ("n/a" applies to all players not on NYCFC's roster at that time):

Name
Original Rating
Current Rating (+/-)
R.J. Allen
n/a
55
Pablo Alvarez
n/a
64
Mehdi Ballouchy
63
63
Connor Brandt
53
48 (-5)
Jeb Brovsky
64
64
Javier Calle
66
66
Mix Diskerud
72
71 (-1)
Shay Facey
n/a
57
Ned Grabavoy
65
65
Jason Hernandez
63
64 (+1)
Andrew Jacobson
65
65
Eirik Johansen
n/a
61
George John
66
65 (-1)
Frank Lampard
n/a
79
Thomas McNamara
57
63 (+6)
Ryan Meara
65
64 (-1)
Patrick Mullins
62
64 (+2)
Adam Nemec
67
65 (-2)
Andrea Pirlo
n/a
83
Kwadwo Poku
54
60 (+6)
Josh Saunders
64
66 (+2)
Khiry Shelton
49
61 (+12)
Tony Taylor
61
61
Sebastian Velasquez
63
63
Kwame Watson-Siriboe
63
61 (-2)
Josh Williams
64
64
Chris Wingert
65
63 (-2)

We all know Villa well, so he's not on here-- he started with an 80 and he still has one.

We're still awaiting the additions of Andoni Iraola and Jose Angel "Angelino" Tasende. The former holds an 80 rating, and the latter a 54.

We ran two simulations using this new, spiffy crew: the first ended 1-0 in favor of New York City, and the second produced a 2-2 draw.

My New York City side did include Pirlo, who won't actually enter the squad until July 21st, but my decision was counterbalanced by the presence of Michael Bradley and Jozy Altidore for Toronto. Those two American heroes are absent in Real Actual Life thanks to the CONCACAF Gold Cup.

Go crazy, folks! You've got a couple of new toys to play with. Go ahead, be Jason Kreis! Put on your best "I don't want to be here" face and live the life of a New York City manager!

On that note, we'll leave you with this. A sign of things to come, perhaps?