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This woman drank 28 cans of Red Bull every day. You won't believe what happened next (after she went blind)!

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A Northern Irish woman drank seven liters of Red Bull per day for, like, FIVE YEARS. If that isn't proof of the product's quality, I don't know what is.

Gareth Cattermole/Getty Images

The customer is always right, folks.

But when it comes to the somewhat popular carbonated beverage known as Red Bull, Lena Lupari isn't just a customer; she's an entire market unto herself. The twenty-six year old resident of Newtonabbey, Northern Ireland has taken brand loyalty into the ionosphere-- her daily regimen involved slamming seven whole liters of the weaponized fizz.

Beat thatGarden State Ultras!

THIS IS WHAT COMMITMENT LOOKS LIKE

That's three thousand calories' worth of sweetened chemicals every day, along with an annual tab of $9,000. Nine thousand dollars per year on Red Bull, so much that (1) she gained an abnormal amount of weight, (2) her brain began to swell and put pressure on her skull ("idiopathic intracranial hypertension"), and (3) she started to go blind.

This is commitment in the purest sense. Like, South Ward-esque. If that level of consumptive focus and determination isn't a sign of Red Bull's sheer quality, I don't know what is.

Just like any fan of the somewhat popular beverage empire's many soccer teams, Lupari understands that Red Bull isn't just a brand, it's a lifestyle. As she told the Daily Mail:

"I'd been suffering from migraines and headaches for about five years but I just ignored them and took painkillers. Then my vision went and I couldn't even lift my head off the bed and I ended up in hospital for six days."

Yet she fought through it. Hell, while he wore the Red Bull crest, Thierry Henry wouldn't even play on turf or cross midfield to gather the ball. Who exactly has done more for the brand, here??

Despite her rock-solid sense of loyalty, medical professionals warned Lupari off of the somewhat popular drink cold-turkey, and with great urgency. The decision couldn't have been simple for the young woman, however. After all, consider the choice at hand:

  • Walk out on her commitment to Red Bull and suffer from the inevitable mental anguish.
  • Remain loyal to her favorite brand, and also die.

RED BULL OUT

In a decision that was entirely necessary for the hardworking mother of three but a major loss for Red Bull GmbH's bottom line, Lena Lupari kicked her favorite drink to the curb. She has reportedly begun a supervised weight loss regimen, and her doctors estimate that she'll have every chance to reclaim a normal, healthy life.

She won't have to stay thirsty forever, though.

That's right-- quitting Red Bull doesn't mean the end of the world. New York City FC's parent company recently announced a partnership with Coco Joy, a global coconut water brand.

As the beverage company's CEO announced on July 20th:

"Coco Joy is a coconut brand dedicated to promoting a healthy lifestyle to consumers globally and we see our partnership with [City Football Group] as a fantastic platform to work together to help collectively promote a healthy lifestyle whilst they can experience the quality, choice and enjoyment in what Coco Joy has to offer."

Everything is going to be okay, Lena. Have you heard of Andrea Pirlo? Grab a Coco Joy, get hydrated as hell, and get ready to watch that bearded magician slice up the organization that very nearly contributed to your expiration.

You're welcome.

HOW COMMITTED ARE YOU?
A DERBY WEEK PRIMER

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Drink up, New York.