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THE LAMPARD FILE: A Hudson River Blue Timeline

We’ve had a lot to say about Dank Frank these last two years. On the occasion of his exeunt, let us remember literally every single word.

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The Frank Lampard Era is over in the City of New York.

And... my FAAAACK, what an era it was.

No single figure in NYCFC lore has elicited, often through no direct fault of his own, such a dizzying array of emotional responses.

He was, as the second announced signing in team history, destined for MLS immortality. Until he wasn’t.

Shit, we even made a whole hour of podcast drama about the infamous Lampard Contract Saga. It might actually be the single wildest, funniest, satirical (and musical!) product HRB has ever turned out. Suffice to say that this has never been tried since, nor before.

  • HIGHLIGHTS: Underground Afrobeat music, MC Bousquette doing Sarah Koenig, and myself doing Ray Hudson

  • HIGHLIGHTS: Conspiracies, scandals, and Nick Chavez singing parody songs

  • HIGHLIGHTS: Hope

But of course, Lampard did return. This year, he up and hit 12 goals in 14 games, bagged the first-and-thus-far-only hat trick in team history -- against Tim Howard, of all people -- and cemented his place in the annals of the New York sporting sphere in no uncertain terms.

Not too shabby.

One day, someone else will wear the #8 shirt for New York City FC. They’ll be hard-pressed to hold that proverbial candle to the man we have so often called, with the most earnest sense of affection, "Phat Phranq."

If you’ve read any of our more incendiary riffs over the last two years, you’ve surely heard us condemn City Football Group’s messaging concerning Lampard’s formerly dodgy contractual status, Manuel Pellegrini’s insistence that the star man stay at Manchester City throughout the first half of 2015, and the player’s own criticisms of NYCFC fans’ jeers upon his 2016 debut in a certain 7-0 derby affair.

You’ve also heard us praise the man’s rugged opportunism in front of goal, his sneaky diagonal runs into the box, and his emergence as NYCFC’s undisputed talisman throughout the late summer and early fall.

Indeed, we’ve had no shortage of opinions about the man.

Here are all of them:

2014

PART ONE: A SHITWIND’S A-BLOWIN’

December 24: We know nothing about Frank Lampard's loan, only guesses.

PART TWO: AND YE SHALL REAP THE SHITSTORM

December 31: Official: Frank Lampard to stay in Manchester through May

December 31: Lampard loan news leaves fans dejected, furious

December 31: Did New York City mischaracterize Lampard's contract?

2015

January 1: Jose Mourinho echoes NYC fans' lament

January 1: Will Lampard ever suit up for New York City? Pellegrini won't say

January 2: They lied.

January 2: On Lampard: Disappointment, deceit, and the nature of fanhood

January 4: Garber on Lampard: It's not what you think it is!

January 6: Why do the season ticket reps have to fall on the sword?

January 8: Unraveling Frank Lampard's contract situation

PART THREE: HOW MANY STAGES OF GRIEF ARE THERE?

January 8: Getting Over Frank: A Playlist for the Fans

January 8: Lampard's agent tries to bail everyone out, fails

January 9: Pictures That Don't Exist

January 9: Lampard "commits" to playing for New York City

January 9: Manchester City do a limited hangout, admit Lampard never signed NYC deal

PART FOUR: LIFE ONLY MAKES FLEETING SENSE

March 23: Why an early Frank Lampard arrival in NYC makes sense -- for everyone

March 26: NYC trains at Yankee Stadium, Villa and Kreis dish on Lampard & Xavi rumors

May 13: Report: Frank Lampard's MLS contract to pay $6 million per year through 2016

PART FIVE: THE EMPEROR IS COMING HERE?

July 8: Frank Lampard talks pressure, playoffs, and being a "city boy" at joint presser with Iraola, Angelino

July 14: New York City FC isn't a puppet state

August 2: Paradise Lost

August 2: Lampard debuts as New York City falls 3-2 at home to Montreal

August 5: In losing to Montreal, we may have seen New York City's most effective lineup

August 5: Lampard and Pirlo - A New Era For NYCFC

PART SIX: SUCH A TEASE

August 30: Lampard, Pirlo respond to Kreis' criticism after crushing loss

August 31: The two biggest things we know for sure after New York City's 2-1 loss to Columbus

October 4: The Angel of History

PART SEVEN: LET’S FUCKING DO THIS

2016

February 9: Let's face it, Frank Lampard's signature looks like a penis.

March 22: Mix Diskerud voted most overrated MLS player in anonymous poll

May 10: The Oathbreakers

May 13: Frank Lampard finally trains with his teammates again, Jack Harrison still making his way back

May 23: Frank Lampard still doesn't get it. He should just shut up and play.

June 1: Jack Harrison calls out NYCFC fans for booing Frank Lampard. Hey, welcome to New York!

June 20: NYCFC 3-2 Philadelphia Union: Post-match comments from Patrick Vieira, David Villa, & Frank Lampard

June 21: David Villa went bananas on Frank Lampard after Saturday's win. Here are 10 possible reasons why.

PART EIGHT: IT'S MONEY OUT HERE

June 23: OF COURSE Frank Lampard likes Phil Collins.

June 27: The 109ers: The curious case of Pirlo, Lampard & Iraola, NYCFC's veteran three-man midfield

June 29: Frank Lampard: "There certainly isn't a gap of seven goals between us" and the Red Bulls

PART NINE: THE KID SLAYS IN THE PICTURE

July 30: RECAP: New York City 5, Colorado 1

August 2: WATCH: Frank Lampard scores to complete first hat trick in NYCFC history

August 2: Frank Lampard wins MLS Player of the Week, nominated for MLS Player of the Month for July

September 2: New York City FC 3, DC United 2: Lampard bewitches our hearts, Blues go top

September 7: 300GATE: An inquiry into the infamous Frank Lampard Day goal discrepancy

PART TEN: IT BURNS US, PRECIOUS

September 19: Frank Lampard ruled out 3-4 weeks

September 22: Can Tommy McNamara Fill the Lampard Void?

October 22: The SPHERICAL Podcast: Talking Frank Lampard's injury recovery with sports physio Erwin Seguia

November 1: Patrick Vieira, Frank Lampard, and Jack Harrison receive MLS award nominations

EPILOGUE. AND HERE WE ARE.

November 14: BREAKING: Frank Lampard Not Returning to NYCFC for 2017 Season

...

See you around, Phranquie.