Sunday's opener in Bridgeview was one of tremendous highs and teeth-gnashing lows.
So, to be clear, this post will not make any mention of Ethan White or Frederic Brillant.
To repeat: we will completely refrain from mentioning how apocalyptically terrible White and Brillant were at the back over the course of Sunday's 4-3 affair at Toyota Stadium.
No. Instead, we're here to celebrate Tommy McNamara and Mix Diskerud. The former bossed his way to a spot in the new season's first MLS Team of the Week, while both of these enterprising men are nominated for the league's Goal of the Week prize.
This year, MLS is handling GotW voting a bit differently: it's bracket time!
Rounding out the bracket, Pipa Higuain's bicycle finish takes on the reanimated cadaver of Mike Magee, while Ignacio Piatti's brilliant footwork faces off with Houston's Giles Barnes.
Let's see that hot Diskerud volley action one more time.