Jack Harrison returns to the MLS Team of the Week

I mean, come on.

COME. ON. DUDE.

You can't just up and do that at age nineteen, down a goal against the best pro soccer team in America.

Stop.

Crosses like that are more lethal than a cape buffalo with a head-mounted laser rifle and nothing to lose.

Crosses like that are more beautiful than a taco truck on every corner.

Crosses like that could bring about peace in the Middle East.

*Catches breath gradually*

Yes, Jumpin' Jack Flash notched his fourth and fifth assists of the year in smashing fashion. He provided deft service on what would be bookend goals in Saturday evening's 2-2 draw at Yankee Stadium against tip-top FC Dallas. Something to note: MLSSoccer.com is in the process of revealing its annual "Top 24 Under 24" list highlighting the league's best young talent. Harrison probably won't be first -- MLS shills incredibly hard for the U.S. and Canadian national teams, so I'd be shocked if Cyle Larin and Jordan Morris weren't taking up the top two spots in some order -- but expect our boy to slide in somewhere between the 3rd and 5th spots.

Because Keegan Rosenberry simply doesn't have access to the vast stockpiles of nuclear-level energy that our boy does.