:format(webp)/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/54278467/IMG_0968.1492303605.jpeg)
David "El Guaje" Villa wanted for questioning in the murder of an innocent keeper.
— ⚽The Cooligans⚽️ (@SoccerCooligans) April 15, 2017
Warning: footed & dangerous. pic.twitter.com/ESK9S4rkt9
Never before has a chip contained so much salt and vinegar. I mean, damn, David Villa must have some kind of Max Cady-level grudge against Philadelphia goalkeeper Andre Blake.
Indeed, el Guaje’s 90th-minute wonderstrike on Good Friday at Talen Energy Stadium was far and away the greatest goal in NYCFC history that wasn’t a game-winner. And really, even compared to the most dramatic win-snatching strikes, Villa’s ruthless chip is a true-blue all-timer.
We know this because the internet caught on fire and remains smoldering even now:
HOT FIRE GOLAZO TWEETS
GOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLLL!!! OH MY GOODNESS!!! DAVID VILLA FROM 60 YARDS AWAY!!!!!!! ARE YOU SERIOUS??????#NYCFC
— Hudson River Blue (@hudsonriverblue) April 15, 2017
HOLY SHIT! DAVID VILLA JUST CHIPPED THE KEEPER FROM MIDFIELD! #NYCFC pic.twitter.com/FzIx8WKHdp
— Kyle Mastoloni (@KMastoloni) April 15, 2017
…………… I'm sorry… what? #PHIvNYC #NYCFC
— Andy Edwards (@AndyEdMLS) April 15, 2017
David Villa with the Carli Lloyd special #NYCFC
— KP (@TheRedSaid) April 15, 2017
MVP FROM WAY DOWNTOWN BANG! #NYCFC
— Phil (@Lavanglish) April 15, 2017
GOLAzO!!! @Guaje7Villa POR FAVOR!! se sacude un par complicadas con una para bajar estadio #NYCFC 2-0 vs #PhilaUnion 90' #MLS
— John E. Rojas (@jrojasa75) April 15, 2017
Villa just shitted on that cheesesteak eating team #NYCFC
— Teeeeeeeeeeeeeeej (@teejribeiro) April 15, 2017
BOW BEFORE THE LORD #elguaje #NYCFC pic.twitter.com/MSAi3UiTcc
— Batt Marbari (@BarbwireM) April 15, 2017
.@nycfc if u hold down the ⏹ button for a second or two u can play high, lofted balls over the top.
— Pablo Maurer (@MLSist) April 14, 2017
This might be the MLS goal of the year. #SCtop10 https://t.co/2538Y7rySk
— SportsCenter (@SportsCenter) April 15, 2017
David Villa is better at soccer than everyone on the Union in franchise history combined. My column:
— Matthew De George (@sportsdoctormd) April 15, 2017
DAVID VILLA A FUCKING GOD
— MLS Transfers (@MLSTransfers) April 15, 2017
Villa scored that goal from Brooklyn..... MY GOODNESS EL GUAJE!!!#PHIvNYC
— Jeff Weisinger (@MrWeisGuy) April 15, 2017
And of course, so happy for the goal... ⚽️7️⃣ pic.twitter.com/gPqTD5WLlP
— David Villa (@Guaje7Villa) April 15, 2017
DOPE U.S. HEADLINES
- Deadspin: “David Villa Chips The Goalkeeper From Damn Near Midfield”
- CSN Philly: “UNION GIVE UP CRAZY BAD GOAL IN ANOTHER LOSS”
- Fox Sports: “Even David Villa couldn’t believe he scored this stunning world-class goal for NYCFC”
- The Washington Post: “David Villa scores the MLS goal of the year from long range for NYCFC”
- Empire of Soccer: “Villa Defies Physics, NYCFC Defies Philadelphia”
- Bleacher Report: “DAVID VILLA MAKES RIDICULOUS GOAL VS. PHILADELPHIA”
- FourFourTwo: “One of the best goals I've ever seen - Pirlo, Vieira hail Villa wonderstrike”
- Yahoo: “David Villa would like to wish you a happy Good Friday with this 50-yard goal”
LARGELY INCREDULOUS INTERNATIONAL HEADLINES
- 7Sur7 (Belgium): “Le but stratosphérique de David Villa”
- The Independent (Ireland): “David Villa hits 52-yard wonder goal for New York City”
- 24Horas (Chile): “¡Se pasó! El impresionante golazo que David Villa anotó en la MLS”
- Who Ate All the Pies (UK): “ ‘I WAS TIRED FROM RUNNING’ – EXHAUSTION LEADS DAVID VILLA TO SCORE 50-YARD SUPER-LOOPER GOAL AGAINST PHILADELPHIA UNION”
- Gazzetta Dello Sport (Italy): “Mls, NY City, David Villa segna da centrocampo: gol da antologia”
- India Times: “You Have To See This Long Goal By David Villa To Believe It Actually Happened!”
- L’Equipe (France): “Le lob incroyable de David Villa”
- Las Provincias (Spain): “Otro golazo de David Villa”
- TVNZ (New Zealand): “ 'I've seen it but I don't believe it!' MLS striker chips unbelievable goal over keeper's head from 40 metres out”
EVEN WORLDSTAR HIP HOP HAD TO GET IN ON THIS JELLY
REMEMBER: THIS IS ON JIM DOLAN, NOT ANDRE BLAKE
but then if u look close u see tha truth hidden in plain sight @RealFakeSamDunn pic.twitter.com/YfIq29fPaD
— GDAECFSC (@GDAECFSC) April 15, 2017
OF COURSE, ANDREA PIRLO HAD TO PAY RESPECT
"It's one of the best goals I've seen"@Pirlo_official reacts to @Guaje7Villa's stunning midfield goal #NYCFC pic.twitter.com/wDG8ZX06AX
— New York City FC (@NYCFC) April 15, 2017
FINALLY, THE GUAJE-GOD, IN HIS OWN WORDS
Seriously, fuck the Easter Bunny. David Villa is the only immortal icon we need this weekend.
And as for eggs, Philadelphia already put one up on the scoreboard, so we’re good on that.