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- They sit ninth in the Western Conference, four points back of the red line.
- They play home games at a college venue called TCF Bank Stadium. “TCF” stands for “That Cold F—er.”
- Minnesota United’s 38 goals allowed is the worst mark in MLS. Only one other team in the league has conceded more than 28.
- Their manager is known among the Free Folk as “The Lord of Bones.”
- Christian Ramirez (9) and Kevin Molino (5) have contributed 58% of Minnesota’s 24 league goals this year.
- United players secretly love it when opponents poke the little circle on their kit sponsor logo and say, “boop!”
- Despite their overall defensive struggles, Minnesota have conceded more than two goals in a game just twice since the opening month of the season.
- Goalkeeper Bobby Shuttleworth was Ray Allen’s younger brother in He Got Game.
- Their roster contains zero designated players.
- On goal differential, Minnesota trails NYCFC by 25.
- Two of their five wins are against teams in current playoff positions: Sporting KC and Orlando City.
- It is said in the North that “the Thenns hate the Hornfoots, the Hornfoots hate the Ice-river clans, [and] everyone hates the cave people.” That’s why it took so long for United’s MLS bid to go through— but it did.