“Knee-Jerk Reactions” is Hudson River Blue’s series of what we were thinking throughout the match. These were our unfiltered thoughts as they played out in real time — no editing, no revisions. Just raw, pure emotion.

Here were my reactions to New York City FC’s disappointing playoff exit at the hands of Atlanta United:

First Half

PG: I’m nervous. I don’t want to be, but I am

2’: “Tajouri-SHRAE-DEE” - Taylor Twellman, 2018

10’: If it’s even close to a foul, you best believe Geiger’s gonna call it

12’: What’s with the long balls!?

15’: Dammit, that was so close

20’: This game is gonna give me a heart attack

23’: Here we go

25’: Welp. That’s pretty much it, folks.

38’: #DoméOut

42’: Game over.

45’: Too little, too late. Unless they have two more in them, it’s over

HT: This team has somehow dragged me back in. Damn it all.

Second Half

C’MON, CITY! LET’S DO THIS!

54’: Maxi almost scored a header. I’m done

56’: Dammit, so close

60’: The clock is ticking. I want to believe. I really do.

65’: What a save!

72’: My hope is slipping away

83’: FUCK!!!!

89’: Just end it, please. Make it stop

FT: And just like that, it was over.

Yes, there was some strong language used in this. But my heart was breaking and I didn’t know what to write other than that.