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Now Streaming: All or Nothing – The German National Team in Qatar

This four-episode portrait of failure is strictly for soccer fanatics who consume all things football.

Courtesy Amazon Prime
All or Nothing: The German National Team in Qatar (2023)

• Player Rating: 6.0
• Stream: Amazon Prime
• Length: 4 episodes, 35-42 mins each
• Audience: Ages 13 and Older

This four-episode portrait of failure is strictly for soccer fanatics who will consume all things football, and Germanophiles who can’t get enough of Teutonic culture: If you want to spend some time staring into the ice-blue eyes of Hansi Flick while he processes in real time that his team is being soundly outplayed by Japan, this series is for you. The rest of us might want to take a moment to consider if watching die nationalmannschaft unravel in the gilded cages that were the practice facilities and luxury hotels of Qatar is our idea of fun night at home.

The German national football team are many things, but lovable isn’t one of them. Die nationalmannschaft, as the kids say, are impressive, imposing, and one of the most successful teams in the history of international soccer. But they don’t bring out the warm fuzzies even in their most devoted fans.

That makes the latest installment of the All or Nothing franchise a heavy lift even before you press play: Do you really want to spend time watching Joshua Kimmich and Kai Havertz trying to find that extra gear? Maybe it’s the kombucha talking, but a two-minute woodworking TikTok speaks more to the human condition than Manuel Neuer telling his teammates they need to play harder if they are to win. 

You have to wonder why Amazon Studios chose to embed with Germany for the duration of the 2022 FIFA World Cup, and why Germany agreed. Not much was expected of the Germans during that World Cup: They didn’t have the sizzle of France, the talent of Brazil, or the glamour of England. As we all know, it was the passion and brilliance of the Argentines that carried them to the winner’s podium. At the risk of stating the obvious, that’s a series you wish you could stream.

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