Yesterday, United States President Donald Trump raised the possibility that he might decide to move some 2026 FIFA World Cup games from "dangerous" cities such as San Francisco and Seattle — never mind that San Francisco's games will actually be played at Levi's Stadium in suburban Santa Clara, CA, which was handed a solid A- by Crime Grade.
Could the president actually decide which American cities will host World Cup games? It's unclear. Like much of the news coming out of Washington DC these days, the announcement was unexpected, unprecedented, and completely possible.
What is certain is that this president rules by Executive Order, which is essentially an operational memo issued by the White House that has the force of law unless addressed by Congress or overruled by the courts. Whatever the president says, goes. At the same time, this is an administration that doesn't care much for international law.
Which makes us wonder: What could President Trump do to change the rules of soccer, and drain the swampy fields and pitches where the Beautiful Game is played? After all, Trump knows how to ball. He isn't just BFFs with FIFA President Gianni Infantino, he was on the varsity soccer team at the New York Military Academy in 1963.
Here are five Executive Orders that could Make Soccer Great Again.
1. DOGE-ify the Starting XI
As we all know, soccer is a low-scoring, pass-heavy game that suffers from countless inefficiencies. Which is why all active players should be required to send a weekly email listing "5 Things" they accomplished in the previous game, effective immediately.
It's no longer acceptable to assume that others will track off-ball movement, interceptions, or goals. Instead, it's up to the players to bullet-point their in-game contributions. Per Elon Musk, former head of DOGE and Manchester United superfan, "Failure to respond will be taken as a resignation."
2. Force Argentina to give one star to USMNT in bailout deal
Javier Milei, the president of Argentina, is currently negotiating a $20 billion bailout deal with President Trump. In addition to other concessions, the United States should take possession of one of stars currently owned by the Asociación del Fútbol Argentino. The United States men's national team will be allowed to put it above their crest before the start of the 2026 FIFA World Cup, while Argentina's kit will be reduced to two.
Additionally, the US should get a 10% stake in the tango.
3. Charge $100,000 fee for P1-A Athlete visa
Next year, when national soccer federations from around the globe send their teams to participate in the FIFA World Cup, valuable positions that could go to local players will instead be filled by foreign workers. That's why applicants for the temporary P1-A visa that allows international athletes to participate in American sporting events should be subject to the same $100,000 fee as those who apply for the H1-B visa.
Not only will it become a lucrative source of revenue, it will force countries such as Brazil, England, and Spain to consider rostering American players instead of importing foreign athletes.
4. Make a goal worth 7 points
Everybody knows that big numbers are better than small numbers, which is why (international) football should follow the example of (American) football, and make a goal worth seven points.
For example: Last Saturday, the Pittsburgh Steelers scored three touchdowns to beat the New England Patriots. The final score was 21-14, which is way more impressive than winning 3-2.
Soccer will benefit immediately. Earlier this week, Lionel Messi scored twice for Inter Miami CF in their 4-0 shutout of New York City FC. Sad! Under this new format, the GOAT would have come out on top 28-0, which is a much, much bigger win.
It should be applied retrospectively, which would make Paris Saint-Germain's meager 5-0 win over Inter Milan in the 2024-25 Champions League Final a 35-0 blowout.
5. Replace the penalty shot with the 35-yard penalty shootout
Major League Soccer's single greatest contribution to the sport is the 35-yard penalty shootout, which replaced the static penalty shot with a one-v-one between player and goalkeeper.
Here's how it worked: The player started with the ball 35 yards out from the goal, and had five seconds to advance and try to beat the goalkeeper. It was fun to watch. The player's need to carry the ball gave the goalkeeper time to move forward and close down angles, which evened the odds. As Pablo Maurer reported in The Athletic, the conversion rate for the 35-yard shootout was just 45%, as opposed to the 75% for a standard penalty.
The 35-yard shootout was introduced with the launch of the league in 1996 and lasted until 1999. "It’s the one that got away," Maurer wrote, a good idea that was abandoned as MLS tried to be taken seriously. You can see from the clips below why it's time to bring it back.
